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tazebell's Blog

by tazebell from Tazewell, Virginia

Last Post 16 days, 17 hours Ago


The first entry I did here was entitled "People See Through Blinders."   Never has that become more apparent to me than with the discussions about the presidential campaigns that will come to an end with the election tomorrow. 

I am afraid the voting tomorrow is going to really reflect this idea at its highest.

In this part of the world of the coal fields of the southern Appalachians the talk has recently become pretty fast and furious over what Obama Barack said or meant in his comments about "blackmailing the coal industry" back to the San Francisco Chronicle back in January.

Regardless of what he really means, or why the paper wrote the article in a certain way, it just hammers home that people are going to sit down and read what they see through their own way of thinking, their own "blinders." 

Lots of talk about gun control up here as well.  Not so much talk, as auto-dialed phone calls received from the " Vote Republican or lose your Second Amendment rights" .

Just last month this area took a real skewing from the outside world when the Los Angeles Times ran a piece on the effect racism is having in this election. Somehow they got a hold of a column from a very small weekly news paper from Grundy, Virginia - a very small town in Buchanan County where, outside of the new law school and school of pharmacy, the only business in town is coal mining.  Heck, they blew up most of downtown something three years ago to build a Wal-Mart and even Sam Walton hasn't had the courage to move over there yet.

Anyway, this guy Bobby May, who was the head of McCain's campaign in Buchanan County did what he called a satirical response to another columnists attack on McCain's policies.  Of course, May's was heavy on the references to black culture.  So all heck broke loose, and suddenly Keith Obermann was talking about us red-necks who wouldn't know a good thing even if he was handed to us on a tray.

That was soon followed by a reporter out of a D.C./Richmond news bureau scooting into my little town of Tazewell and tagging along with one Obama supporter on her quest for a yard sign. The reporter wasted no time describing the little shopping center where the Obama office is located and all the people she saw in all the stereotypical grandeur she could muster. I suppose she had to keep the way the LA Times sees this area going strong.

Nothing screams "blinders on"  more than the headline that the news editor chose to put on that column when it ran in a New Haven paper: "In Appalachia 'any excuse' used to reject a black"

Thing is, the only person in Tazewell who said that was the Obama supporter herself - the one that was so desperate for a sign.


In this election, the one called the most important and exciting in a very long time, citizens of this country need to take a head on look at things, without their blinders on.  


But you might want to put your seatbelt on. I am afraid it's going to be a bumpy ride.


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 In the South: --  If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them,  just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... do not buy food at this store
Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive 
Get used to hearing, 'You ain't from round here, are ya?' 
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. 
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. 
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper! 
Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here. 
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way.
These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. 
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. 
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. 
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits! 

I got this in one of those forever-making-the-rounds emails, the kind that usually encourage you to pass them along so you can get some kind of luck in return.  I thought this was funny.  I love my South.


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<br/><a href="http://i37.tinypic.com/2eo9udf.jpg" target="_blank">View Raw Image</a>
You have probably already seen this photo of the "retired Hooters girl" costume someone suggested I dress as.  What are some other ideas you all have for adult dress up night? The newspaper down there in Atlanta has some pix on their site, and I am taking the liberty of sharing one I find mildly amusing.  I think they are a "red-neck wedding couple" but I may be wrong. So, tell me, what are going to be for Halloween?
ALAN YOUNGBLOOD   ajc


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The Wedding Fairy
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. 

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. 

She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' 

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' 

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. 

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. 

I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me
 .' 

The wife, and the fairy ere deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. 

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old. 

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female..... 


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I said "Hey, dude, I mean it's been three hours, where's the corn? It's just two ears of corn, how long can it take?

He gave her a really nasty, gleeful, smile and then bashed her in the head.

The next thing I know the frying pan was in his hands and coming down on my head. And then I thought 'Oh, I guess we're not cooking anything'"

 

Remember Nevada Judge Elizabeth Halverson - the "jurista gigante" as some in the Spanish-language media dubbed her? She attracted national attention this past year with her battle to stay on the bench after being accused of not being a very good judge.  That and making her bailiff rub her feet.

On September 4th her husband smacked her up the side of her head with a frying pan. 911 was called. Police came and took hubby away, then an ambulance came and took tubby away.

Ed Halverson was charged in for the attack that left his wife in the hospital for two weeks with a fractured skull and lacerations that took 100 staples to close.

 

Try and picture this scene while you read from the transcript of the 911 call she made around 11 o'clock that evening. 

"After knocking on the front door of their house and getting no answer, officers broke through a security gate. Edward Halverson opened the front door, shirtless and wearing green camouflage shorts."

In the master bedroom, officers found Judge Halverson sitting on the bed, bleeding profusely from the head with large gaping wounds, the police report said. Blood surrounded her and continued to flow from the severe head wounds and at the time, officers noticed an odor of bleach in the air." 

Inside the bedroom, police found a bottle of bleach inside a trash can. Judge Halverson told officers that her husband had been using bleach to clean up all the blood splattered in the bedroom from the beating. She had taken off the gown she had been wearing when he flung the skillet at her and it's not clear if she was still naked when the police found her on the bed or Ed had managed to get  a fresh gown on her.

At around 11:00 p.m. the judge placed a bizarre call to 911. As the call unfolds, she asks for someone to rescue her while asking her husband for ice for her swollen eye. The 911 call lasted 11 minutes.

"Please, help. Please, help me now," she whispered in a panic. "He's beating me with a frying pan."
While asking 911 for help, she quite calmly talks to her husband. She tells him to clean up the blood on the floor and asks him to get ice for her battered, bloodied eye. In fact, he sounds pretty solicitous of his wife on the 911 recording doing pretty much whatever she asked as usual.

Edward Edward HalversonHalverson


Elizabeth Halverson

Elizabeth Halverson


Here are pertinent parts of the call you might be interested in reading:

Wife: Are you going to help me because I'm bleeding a lot.

Husband: Where?

Wife: From my head.

Husband: Oh.

Wife: I'm bleeding a lot from my eye. I can't see. I think you broke my jaw and my hand, definitely.

Dispatcher: Hello?

Wife: I can't see from this eye. There's going to be a big mess from all the blood.

Wife: He is beating me with a frying pan.

Dispatcher: Beating you with a what?

Wife: I am bleeding to death. Please help me. Please help me. I can't see out of this eye.

Husband: Fix that.: I was thinking ice, maybe.

Wife: Please hurry. I won't be able to go to the door. He's going to kill me. Please hurry.

Dispatcher: Does he still have the frying pan?

Wife: I don't think so. Did you get ice? Did you see the eye? It is this one.

Husband: Oh yeah, the right eye. Put it on your eye. Oh, man, that's terrible.

Wife: He's going to come after me again.

Wife: Did you bring ice?

Husband: Ice?

Wife: Yeah. (gasping)

Husband: Here you go.

Wife: Ice for my eye. You might want to clean the floor, too.

Husband: You've got a washcloth. Use it.

Wife: Well, you tried to murder me. Why did you do that? Why did you do that?

A  friend of the Judge (apparently the only one she still has) has offered up a more colorful description of what went on that night. This same friend also believes the Judge was driven out of office as a result of some conspiracy theory. Anyway she said the Judge threatened to kick unemployed Ed out of the house after he ignored her requests to do some chore that night. She even called her sister and asked her to call 911 for her which is when he reached for the frying pan. But while the Judge sat telling the operator she about bleeding to death in what was described as a "whispered and panicked voice" she turns to Ed and tells him calmly where to clean up the blood and to bring her an ice pack.  


Now,  a more elaborate look at the evening's turn of events came from Halverson's Grand Jry testimony some three weeks after the incident. While you are reading this keep in mind he's still naked except for camo boxers and she just might be as well. 

According to the Grand Jury transcript, Judge Halverson said she was just sitting in her bedroom cleaning and snapping off the edges of green beans at approximately 10:00pm the evening of September 4th, 2008. I know I have spent many a night snapping beans in bed but I usually insist they are thoroughly strung as well.

She called her husband into the bedroom where she said she preparing dinner for the following day. She asked her husband to bring in some steaks they were also preparing so they could decide on what type of marinade to put on them.

While she was talking to her sister, he brought in a couple of salad dressings which clearly were not what she wanted. She asked him to go get the marinade and he eventually came back with 3 or 4 packets. ( soy sauce?)

She said that at about 7:30pm Ed hadn't cooked dinner, and told her he didn't want to do it. She told him there was a couple of ears of corn he could boil that she could eat. And she wanted to eat.

According to her testimony the corn still wasn't cooked by 10:30 pm so she said, "Hey, dude, I mean it's been three hours, where's the corn? It's just two ears of corn, how long can it take?"

She said they were "discussing" that, as in "Where's the corn, and then, you know, where's the marinade?" She said Ed started acting weird so she asked him to sleep in another room.

"I can't deal with you now, you're being very weird," she said. So she asked Ed to leave the room.

Ed didn't leave the room because he was still talking to her sister on the phone. Seems she called her other sister and asked her to call 911 on her behalf as well.  Neither would do her bidding. 

She claimed Ed said something like "How are you going to make me leave the room?" and she replied," I'll get the police to make you." You have to wonder how many times she threw that threat in his face to get him to toe her line.

Ed left the room momentarily and came back with a big frying pan. She said her first thought was "What are we going to cook now?"  The frying pan was in his hands and coming down on her head when she realized they weren't cooking anything'.


There are so many things that are  just not right with that picture.


So Ed gets hauled off to jail, charged with attempted murder, battery with substantial bodily harm  and battery with a deadly weapon (a Calphanon skillet) with bond set at $113,000 (which he can't  make.)  If he should get out, he is banned from going closer than half a mile from his wife   *insert your own remark here*.    He has been appointed a public defender to represent him.  Remember his wife has continued to collect her $130,000/year even though she is suspended, but I take it she didn't care much for sharing.  In the meanwhile he sits in jail awaiting his next hearing which is scheduled for December 1.  

He's not unfamiliar with sitting in jail. Loving wife Liz made a point to reveal to the 911 operator hubby Ed is an ex-con.  He has been arrested ten times in three different states on charges ranging from drugs to theft.  He served four years in prison before they were married in 1998.

Now remember what thrust her into the limelight in the first place-that pesky disciplinary action which had something to do with her being an ineffective judge?  She managed to spin it into being some kind of a huge conspiracy by the seated judiciary  to get rid of her. Seems this near beating to death by her husband may have worked to cast a new light on her and these charges she is facing, almost turning public opinion into an apology. 

The attorney representing her in the as-yet-undecided disciplinary action said this current situation should help everyone step back and look at her complete situation. Part of that situation is the fact that the Judge has pretty much involved/implicated/subpoenaed most every judge in the circuit in her own case making it difficult to find a judge to hear her husband's case. 

Was she asking for it? Those who are not sympathetic in the least for her argue that her heinous treatment of her husband, who tended to her every need, brought about this bit of karma in the form of a flying skillet. It's common knowledge there in the community she was cruel to him and berated him in public, calling him an idiot and worse. One court filing reveals she had a court clerk swear him in "to answer questions about matters related to certain duties she expected him to perform in the course of their marital relationship." Her former bailiff has alleged the judge told him to shoot her husband. She called him bad names. The night of the attack neighbors gave the guy credit for putting up with her as long as he did. They called him a saint, a sweet man around the neighborhood who waited on his wife hand and foot while they described  the Judge as "a nasty."

There are even rumors that somehow she did this to herself.  How she describes what happened is perhaps a bit fantastic. She somehow got knocked off the bed to the floor, barraging herself with filing cabinet & garbage can; pulls herself up on bed, gets blood-soaked gown off; realizes land-line phone is on bedside table and while she can't see to reach and dial, she "somehow does". All while that "nasty, sneering, convict" husband cleans up the floor per her demand, getting her a washcloth & ice per her demand but managing to push them into her eye and "hurting me and that's not helping." 

Things don't fit when you remember this is a woman that has very limited mobility due both to her size and her health problems.   Really this fight boiled down to a food if you look at the way it is described.  It sounds like some kind of food orgy going on there in the bedroom:  those snapping green beans, the raw steaks carried in to the bedroom to select the ideal marinade, and the fresh ears of corn she wanted cooked for supper.  She wanted more, and she wanted it right then.Is there nothing worse than an unsatisfied, unfulfilled woman? 




 




You can check further at these sites:

www2.lasvegasnow.com

www.ktnv.com/Global/Link.asp?=339105

sprocket-trials.blogspot.com/

 

 

 




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So I was scooting around the internet trying to find some fresh ideas for the boxwoods I just bought, and I thought I would see if Colonial Wiliamsburg had any new ideas about their use in the landscape.  
They still  advocate planting them like little soldiers but I did see something else of interest -  an interpretation of  cockfighting in the colony.  Below is a link to the Autumn 2008 Journal.  
http://colonialwilliamsburg.org/Foundation/journal
/
Autumn08/rooster_slideshow/ 

Seeing as how I can't copy the photos onto this site, let me play color commentator and give you the subtitles for the accompanying photos.

"There is an eager audience comprised of interpreters whose names you will hear.""Hutter and Moore lay stakes.""Bill Rose's wicked grim betrays his hunger for battle.""Martin prepares to release some feathered fury.""Howlete and Martin judge a fighter's fitness for the pit.""Tavern keepers stand to profit from a cockfight regardless of who the winner is. Their  waitresses stay busy serving refreshments.""The waitress takes a moment while pouring drinks to look on as the match progresses.""Diminutive spurs made drumsticks deadly."
I realize it's not quite the same as actually being there and watching a cockfight during colonial times.  Take a look at the site if you are interested in seeing the photographs.
It's not the cockfights of today though.  Somebody who knows first hand can tell me how it went from being an event  held in the street to an arena that is in some secretive dirt pit somewhere.  

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Original List: 1. Handsome 2.  Charming 3.  Financially successful 4.  A caring listener  5. Witty 6.  In good shape 7.  Dresses with style 8.  Appreciates finer things 9.  Full of thoughtful surprises 10.  An imaginative, romantic lover 

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)    1. Nice looking 
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)  1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough sh ape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62) 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed     2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting 5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers your name on occasion     10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)      1. Doesn't scare small children               2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep 5. Remembers why he's laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears some clothes 8. Likes soft foods               9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 82) 1. Breathing 2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.


A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'



A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him.
'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

 


A WOMAN'S POEM:


Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.  One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.  Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best friend.   

A MAN'S POEM:


I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a BLEEP.
The End

>>>typical male response



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"Frankly, these guys are hobby drinkers: for some us, it’s professional & we are embarrassed."  

That is the take that GeekLawyer's blog has on this recent story of a couple of esquires gone wild Also known as Wasted lawyers behaving badly.  Two drunks at a drive-through that happen to be practicing attorneys. You know it must be bad if lawyers are making fun of other lawyers.

Oklahoman attorney Lewis Moon and Oklahoma County public defender David Bedford (both in their forties) got a little wild at a Whataburger hamburger joint early Friday morning (or late Thursday night, depending on how you count your days.) They were driving the wrong way  through the drive-through and then got a little worked up when Johnny Law stopped by to see what the commotion was all about.

Moon flashed a badge, claimed to be a deputy and said they could work it out. Then he spit on the real officer when he refused to let him go. He was arrested on complaints of actual physical control of a motor vehicle while intoxicated, impersonating a law officer (the badge was a "keepsake" given to sheriff's department supporters), resisting arrest and placing bodily fluids on a law officer.  Now that sounds like something you want on you permanent record, doesn't it?

His drinking partner, the PD,  was charged with public intoxication for going along with that ride that was a party.

The intoxicated lawyers kept up their shenanigans after they were taken into the local police station for booking.  A video camera preserved their rantings about how wrong the cops were to pick them up in the first place and how Moon had been shoved during the arrest and injured his elbow.  Not only did the police refuse to give him an ice pack for that, but they wouldn't take the men to county jail no matter how loudly and often they made that request.  "You don't have the balls to take us to county" Moon railed at an officer. Then Moon closed out his temper tantrum by naming all the judges that most certainly would take his version of events over that of the men in blue any way. 

After they somewhat sobered up both men were freed on bond. 








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Another bad guy in black story in the news. Samuel B. Kent is a judge for the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Texas, nominated to the single-judge Galveston Division seat by George H.W. Bush on August 3, 1990. He was recently indicted on charges of abusive sexual contact and attempted aggravated sexual abuse of a female employee, making