Blinky's Veiw Point

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession..
 Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: - a Bible, - a silver dollar, - a bottle of whiskey and, - a Playboy magazine
 'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old Preacher said to himself, 'when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.
' If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!
If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too.
But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be.
 And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum.' The old man waited anxiously,
and soon heard his son's footsteps. The boy entered the house whistling and headed for his room.
He tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
 He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket.
 He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's centerfold. 'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher whispered with disgust, 'he's gonna run for Congress!'

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same m onastery.


The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.


That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.


The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

We can't tell you. You're not a monk.


The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
The monks reply, Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk .

We shall now show you the way to the sound.


The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key ?

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door .

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight



. . But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

DON'T SWEAR AT ME;
I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO SENT THIS TO ME!

 

It's not whether you win or lose,but how you place the blame

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on

When you work here , you can name your own salary. I named mine, 'Skinny'.

Reality is only an illusion caused by a

deficiency of alcohol.

If at first you don't succeed , your skydiving is over

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

 

Then following is quotes out of the 2 books he wrote:
Barack Obama "The Audacity of Hope"

and Barack Obama "The Dreams of My Father"

From Dreams of My Father:

'I ceased to advertise my mother's race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.'

 From Dreams of My Father :

 'I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and animosity against my mother's race.'

 From Dreams of My Father:

'There was something about him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white.'

 From Dreams of My Father:

 'It remained necessary to prove which side you were on, to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name names.'

 From Dreams of My Father:

'I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn't speak to my own. It was into my father's image, the black man, son of Africa , that I'd packed all the attributes I sought in myself , the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.'

  

And FINALLY the Most Damning one of ALL of them!!!

From Audacity of Hope:

'I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.'

 * If you have never forwarded an e-mail, now is the time to Do so!!! We CANNOT have someone with this type of mentality running our GREAT nation!!  I don't care whether you are a Democrat or a Conservative. We CANNOT turn ourselves over to this type of character in a President. PLEASE help spread the word

A store that sells new husbands has opened in  New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - T hese men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 
PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

ONE SUNNY DAY IN 2009, AN OLD MAN APPROACHED THE WHITE HOUSE FROM ACROSS  PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE , WHERE HE'D BEEN SITTING ON A
PARK BENCH.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, I would like to go in and meet with President Barack Obama.

The Marine replied, Sir, Mr. Obama is not President and doesn't reside here.

The old man said, Okay,and walked away. The following day, the same man  approached the White House and said to the same Marine, I would like to go in and meet with President Barack Obama.

The Marine again told the man, Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is not President and doesn't reside here. The man thanked him and again walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying I would like to go in and meet with President  Barack Obama.

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and  said, Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already several times that Mr. Obama  is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?

The old man answered, 'Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing your answer !!!! '

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, 'See you tomorrow.'

Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you
love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I
had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous
prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about
the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It
is a good thing someone else loves Jesus, because if he hadn't honked, I'd never
have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then
he leaned out of his window and screamed,
'For the love of God! '
'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and
smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling
something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in
the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave
him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got
out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I
noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters
grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the
light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the
love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian
good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma

All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!
 Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ' How many of you have forgiven your enemies?
 ' 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. ' Mrs. Neely ? '
; ' Are you not willing to forgive your enemies? ' I don ' t have any. ' She replied, smiling sweetly. ' Mrs. Neely , that is very unusual.
 How old are you? ' ' Ninety-eight. ' she replied. ' Oh, Mrs. Neely , would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?
' The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:
I out lived B***H !!!!

Marvin Is Men's  answer to Maxine the Lil Old Lady

                        

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it. 
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? 
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men? 
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? 
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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---- How do you fix a woman's watch? 
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- -------------------------------------------------------
- 
  Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. 
It's called a Wedding Cake.
  ---------------------------------------- ------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.  

The Following Questions were asked to 2nd Graders:
WHY GOD MADE MOMS    Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:  
  Why did God make mothers?
 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.  2. Mostly to clean the house.  3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
  How did God make mothers?  1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.  2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.  3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger p arts. 
   What ingredients are mothers made of ?  1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.  2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.  
 Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?  1. We're related.  2. she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 
   What kind of little girl was your mom?  1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.  2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.  3. They say she used to be nice.  
  What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?  1. His last name.  2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?  3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?  
 Why did your mom marry your dad?  1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.  2. She got too old to do anything else with him.  3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
 Who's the boss at your house?  1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.  2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.  3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
 What's the difference between moms & dads?  1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.  2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.  3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.  4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 
  What does your mom do in her spare time?  1. Mothers don't do spare time.  2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.  
 What would it take to make your mom perfect?  1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.  2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.   
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?  1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.  2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.  3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
  WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING -- Hug your child just cuz  

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.

 

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

 

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.  She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.  As he sat facing her old  Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

 

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat, the pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and  he could no longer resist.  "Miss Beatrice," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

 

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful?  I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.  The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.  Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

If you get an e-mail titled "Nude Pictures of Sarah Palin" in thesubject line, do not open it.  It may contain a virus.  If you get an e-mail titled "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton" in thesubject line, do not open it.  It may contain nude photos of HillaryClinton .

There were two nuns..  

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical(SM),  

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).  

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.  

SM: Have you noticed that a man h as been following us for  
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.  

SL: It's logical.. He wants to rape us.  

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes  
at the most! What can we do?  

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.  

SM: It's not working.  

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only  
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.  

SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.  

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and  I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.  

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is  
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.  

Then Sister Logical arrives.  

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!  
Tell me what happened!  

SL: The only logical thing happened.  The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me  

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?  

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run  
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.  

SM: And?  

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.  

SM  : Oh, dear! What did you do?  

SL : The only logical thing to do.  I lifted my dress up.  

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?  

SL: The only logical thing to do.  He pulled down his pants.  




SM: Oh, no! What happened then?  

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?  A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.  
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And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,  

Say two Hail Marys!

One Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,
 and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,
 and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 20 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that mess?'
 I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I've stopped fishing.

In 2009 the government will start deporting all of the weird old people.

I started crying when I thought of you.

Run, my Friend, RUN !!!!



Well....what can I say....someone sent it to me!  I'm not going alone.