Daniel's Window

I just watched the report on how taxpayers are footing the bill for the new Yankee stadium. I already knew this, (see my past blog: http://community.myfoxny.com/blogs/Sanctus/2008/09/03/
Sweet_Apples_and_Sour_Lemons) but it was nice to see Fox 5 reporting on the story. In addition to the public funds that are being used to fund the construction of the stadium, the tax breaks given to the Yankees are yet another way that money is being taken from the public trust. I look forward to Mayor Bloomberg's explanation about the 15 vs. 1000 new jobs, the misrepresentation of the new stadium's value and the use of public funds to construct it.

Let's be clear; the New York Yankees are a for-profit, private organization. They exist to produce income for the team owners, Major League Baseball and all of the contractors that support the stadium from the food and beverage providers to the private security force. They are not, by any definition, a public organization that provides goods and services to the people of New York for free. Yes, there are many jobs associated with the Yankees, the majority of which are low-paying minimum wage positions, but how much does this improve the local economy of the Bronx? Not very much, if at all.

The bottom line? The Yankees should pay the entire cost of their stadium and they should receive no welfare from the IRS or any other government agency. If the Yankees feel that it is too expensive for them to do business in New York without public funds and tax breaks, they should go somewhere else. New York really is a helluva town, but if you wanna make it here, you have to work for it. Enough with the handouts and the bailouts. Pay your own way or get the hell out of the way. The people of the Bronx and the rest of the city give enough of themselves every day. Let the Yankees do the same!

            As a resident of the Bronx and a worker in Manhattan, I am fully vested in the city’s traffic, public works, services, goods and environment.  If I were asked to come up with a name for the time period covering the last few years , I would likely choose something like “The Wasted Years” or perhaps, “The Foolish Years.”  Everywhere I look, I see bad idea after bad idea pushed upon the tax paying, law-abiding citizens of this great city by a tiny group of power brokers who are way out of touch with the rest of us. 

            Let’s start with the subways.  Here we have one of the worlds largest public transportation systems in one of the world’s greatest cities and it’s literally falling apart!  Our city thrives in great part because of the quick and easy access to mass transportation provided by our subways.  Without the subway system, many people would be unable to get into work on time or at all and businesses would suffer.  This would result in lowered productivity, job loss, business failure and massive loss of tax revenue.  As I wait for my train in the morning with a pocket full of 50 cent metro cards, I count the rats and wonder at the decay evident everywhere from the ceiling to the walls.  Hell, I’ve seen war zones that looked better than some of the subway platforms in the city today.

            As I drive down the Deegan  Expressway, I am amazed at the speed that the new Yankee Stadium has been constructed.  I flashback to my fist viewing of the Coliseum in Rome and imagine future archaeologists trying to determine why we erected this huge structure right next to another one.  It’s really incredible how people can get together and build a gigantic luxury baseball stadium (subsidized by taxpayers) but I can’t wait for a subway in a clean platform that  actually looks like somebody gives a damn.  It’s hard to believe I am actually living in the 21rst century on some days!

            To add insult to injury, several projects around my neighborhood have closed off pedestrian crosswalks to facilitate some brain trust’s idea of smoother traffic flow.  Where I used to have a crosswalk that took me directly to the subway entrance to go downtown, I now have to cross three separate crosswalks (legally) to get to the same train entrance.  What about going green, saving energy, reducing our carbon footprint?  Odd, but I could swear that many of these street adjustments are actually encouraging people to drive more and walk less.  Hypocrisy, rear thy shameless head, but watch out for the fossil fuel-burning “street cleaners!”

            Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of positive things in the city as well.  The school system has greatly improved with more and better choices and schools, helped in no small way by the “No Child Left Behind Act.” Many neighborhoods around the city have vastly improved with private houses now neatly lining previously dilapidated areas like the land surrounding St. Mary’s Park.  The Park system has done an excellent job of improving, maintaining and expanding parks everywhere from Central park to Pelham Bay.  Child services have improved and we still have the best bagels and pizza in the world! 

            All in all, I still love this city, but there are times when things start to ruin it for me.  The subway system is one of the biggest problems and the MTA has really let us all down over the last few years especially.  If they want to give me a discount, give me a freakin’ free ride.  In the meantime, let me know if you want to buy any 50 cent metro cards.  Like the MTA once did, I have a surplus!  Maybe if I save enough of them, I’ll be able to afford half of a hot dog and sip of beer in the new Yankee stadium.  Woohoo!

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    Wow! Here it is, July 8, 2008, the summer is in full force and the year is halfway gone. It’s been a very busy year and I haven’t had much time to blog lately, but I have noticed a long-term trend in blogging that has fascinated me for the last few years.

    What is it about blogging that seems to make people think that they can say anything they like with no shame? I’ve noticed people lashing out in anger, delivering personal attack after personal attack and generally speaking in a manner that is considered unacceptable in all other social situations. I see this in blogs all over the internet, including the myfox blogs.

    There are a lot of theories to explain this trend. Some say that it’s the anonymity of the internet that allows people to lash out and that certainly makes sense in a lot of situations. Some folks seem to think that it’s okay to insult and degrade others as long as nobody knows them and nobody can easily track them down. It’s never really okay to be vicious, mean and insulting, but many people feel differently. Of course, some of these folks have come to regret their behavior as they have found that they can, indeed, be tracked down by law enforcement when needed.

    Some people think that it’s the public figure aspect of blogging that makes people abandon acceptable behavior. In the early days of personal computers we had local Bulletin Board Systems that a relatively small number of people would use to discuss various topics and exchange opinions. Since there were not that many people who could read one person’s comments, things generally did not get too crazy. Skip ahead to today and one blogger can be read by hundreds or thousands of people daily and you have a nice anger stew. One comment today can start a war of words on what is now called the “blogosphere.”

    Another theory is that there are those people who may have been frequently ignored or belittled growing up. As they grew older, they looked for areas that they might have better control over and might garner more respect and attention from. As they discovered the internet and blogging they seized the opportunity to make a name for themselves and take no prisoners. Again, these are all just theories that try and explain the negativity and the attacks that are so prevalent on the internet today. Every individual is important and has value. Everybody has their own story and that’s part of what makes blogging so much fun.

    None of us are perfect and we can all be guilty of the occasional misspeak, but we should always be aware that words really can hurt people in ways that are not always easily definable. For the same reason a well written song is powerful, or a simple “Thank you,” or “I love you.” can change a person’s life, an attack aimed squarely at a person’s individuality or belief can have a huge negative impact. Many of us are pretty tough (or at least we think we are) because we’ve been burned before and we’ve heard most of the BS before, but some people are a little more tender. Sadly, some people have even killed themselves because of words somebody else used against them. It is true that actions speak louder than words, but when we blog, our actions are our words. Be well and have a great summer!

Daniel

            Has anybody else ever wondered why banks and stores can’t purchase and deploy better security cameras?  It seems that every time a crime is committed at such an establishment we get a grainy, low resolution photo of the suspected criminal.  I am always bemused when such pictures are shown on the news in the hope that somebody will recognize the suspect and turn him or her in.  How hard can it be to get a higher resolution camera in place with a good auto-focus mechanism?  It just seems weird that these businesses wouldn’t want to have the best pictures available in order to track down these criminals.

            A lot of people get upset when they discuss cameras in public places, but not me.  How much of my privacy is at risk to these expensive, out-of-focus, low resolution monitoring systems?  Not much, unless these systems get a lot better in quality and get set up correctly.  I can imagine the conversations of some of these security personnel.  “Yes sir!  After going through all of the available images we have our man.  He’s a man and he has hair…and he’s wearing clothes…shouldn’t be hard to track down!” 

             I ran a test in my house with a jury-rigged motion detector, a compact digital camera and a computer.  With the camera and the motion detector connected to the computer and almost invisible on my bookshelf, I set my cheap “security system” to snap three photos every time somebody came through my front door.  Much to my surprise, I got a perfect, in-focus photo almost every time.  I thought that this was too easy, so I rearranged the camera several times at odd positions, but I got clear pictures every time.  I guess I just got lucky!

These creatures were once called "Horsefoot Crabs" because they looked like a horse hoof. The Horseshoe Crab isn't really a crab. It is related to scorpions, ticks and land spiders.

Horseshoe crabs have not changed very much in the last 250 million years. They have survived because of their hard, curved shells that protect their soft underbellies. The horseshoe crab has also persisted because it can go without eating for a year and survive changing temperatures and high salt content in the water.

Each spring during the high tides of the new and full moons, thousands of American horseshoe crabs descend on the shores of the Atlantic from Maine to the Yucatan.

Males, two-thirds the size of their mates, gather on the shoreline as the females arrive. The male holds on to the female's shell and is dragged up the beach to the high tide line. The male has glove-like claws on its first pair of legs that allow him to hold on.

The female stops intermittently to dig a hole and drop as many as 20,000 green eggs inside of it. The male then fertilizes the eggs as he is pulled over the hole. After this mating process is complete, the crabs leave and the waves wash sand over the nest.

Some Facts:

• Despite their size and intimidating appearance, horseshoe crabs are not dangerous.
• A horseshoe crab's tail, while menacing, is not a weapon. Instead, the tail is used to plow the crab through the sand and muck, to act as a rudder, and to right the crab when it accidentally tips over.
• The horseshoe crab's central mouth is surrounded by its legs and while harmless, it is advisable to handle a horseshoe crab with care since you could pinch your fingers between the two parts of its shell while holding it.
• Horseshoe crabs have 2 compound eyes on the top of their shells with a range of about 3 feet. The eyes are used for locating mates.
• Horseshoe crabs can swim upside down in the open ocean using their dozen legs (most with claws) and a flap hiding nearly 200 flattened gills to propel themselves.
• Horseshoe crabs feed mostly at night and burrow for worms and mollusks. They will, however, feed at any time.
• Horseshoe crabs grow by molting and emerge 25 percent larger with each molt. After 16 molts (usually between 9 and 12 years) they will be fully grown adults.
• Horseshoe crab eggs are important food for migratory shore birds that pass over the Atlantic shoreline during the spring mating season. Fish also eat the juveniles or recent molts.
• In the 1900s, horseshoe crabs were dried for use as fertilizer and poultry food supplements before the advent of artificial fertilizers.

A Horseshoe crab on the shores of Orchard Beach on April 26, 2008.

I have been concerned lately with general news coverage in both printed media and on television. It often appears as if news producers and editors believe that most viewers and readers would rather be entertained than informed. This is a trend that has been increasing in popularity with each passing day. Admittedly, I do like to be entertained as well, but not at the expense of getting the “real” news. There are many such examples that I could point to, from murder and rape, to war and peace, many of which have been discussed in various posts right here on the myfox blogs. The one that has really intrigued me of late, however, is the water shortage in Atlanta. I’m wondering why I have to search to find up-to-date information on this potentially deadly crisis. This would seem to have all the trappings of a monster story. We have a population of 3 million on the brink of disaster with less than a ninety day supply of drinking water, governors of neighboring states at each other’s throats, poor civic planning by politicians and government officials, and a drought in the southeast that is described as epic! Governor Purdue is even threatening to sue the Army Corps of engineers! Why is the news media providing us with only minimal coverage on this huge story?

 

Hello! It has been a very busy few weeks for me with work and family and my blogging family as well. There have been some great discussions here on the blogs, ranging from mothers to friends to freedom of speech. I have enjoyed them all and I know each discussion has added something that I will take forward on my journey. This blog has really come a long way and I am happy to be a part of the action. I thank everybody for taking the time to post such interesting blogs, both staff members and viewers. As I look forward to another beautiful winter season with friends and family, I also look forward to another year here on the blog. I know it will be a year full of ideas, debates, virtual hugs and a little learning every day. I’m going to stay in a light mood today (for me) with a few whimsical entries from one of my notebooks. Be well everybody!

A Days Journey

I left her in a pub in Cork
Because my charm just wouldn't work.
The day was grand, but not my talk
I left her there to take a walk.

I walked until the end of day
And found a castle on my way.
"It's Blarney!" said a passing drunk,
Up to the parapet I slunk.

Up there before my eyes I saw
The famous stone within the wall
A weathered space between two bars
That kisses had so sweetly marred.

The moment seized, my head reclined
I kissed the rock that challenged time
And as my lips caressed the stone
I was no longer there alone

For in that instant, I was lost
Inside a world that time had tossed
I brushed a million lips and then
I thrust into our world again.

The sun was low, I walked in haste
I knew this time I should not waste;
Returned to Cork beneath the moon
I reached the pub I'd left at noon

And lo, there sat my bonnie lass
Gently draining her wine glass.
I begged a pint, for her more wine
From Grace, the rosy barmaid fine.

I sat beside her with a smile
And talked a lovely wicked while.
She laughed at all my tales and touched
Her hand to mine, perhaps too much.

I reveled in her beaming face
I finally had my wits in place.
My journey had been worth the trip
For now, instead of stone, her lips.

Lesson

Walking alone, I used to think I was powerful
in the leafy-green, red-orange hue of ancient mountainsides;
learning to step without snapping a twig,
silently exploring the ridges and the sturdy pines.

It was often May before the snow would leave,
in vapor-lust, the tangled baby trees and tombstone trunks.
Sitting on the bald head of Shatterack, I studied Townsend far below
and wondered at the order of the green and brown and blue.

I shot down the slope at sunset, running, jumping, falling, rolling and slipping
across the little river and the muddy, mossy ground.
I raced the darkness to my house and banged through the door,
laughing, in breathless relief; I had finally understood the spring!

Good evening everybody. As I sat here tidying my desk for another week of vacation, I felt I had to post a blog and thank everybody for wishing me well on my birthday. It was a thrill to have a Friday dance in my honor on Good Day New York, very unexpected, but a welcome surprise. I know a certain blogger on here, Candice (lovefoxfive) is responsible for the request and a special thanks must go out to her. Having Mike, Ron and Lynda wish me a happy birthday was a real treat. Additionally, many myfoxny bloggers have posted happy birthday wishes, and I would like to thank all of them too. Lovefoxfive and Monique even posted a blog for my birthday and I'd like to thank them both again here.

I can't believe that it's been almost a year of sharing stories and laughs on the myfoxny blog! I've made some friends and had many interesting discussions with my fellow bloggers and Fox5 staffers. It is a pleasure and an honor to be here with all of you and I look forward to many more years of blogging. I'd also like to thank the web development staff of Fox5 for providing all of us with such a pleasant diversion and such a good place to communicate online and participate in the news. It goes without saying that Fox5 news is the best in the business (but I’ll say it anyway!) and I thank all the reporters, journalists, writers, staffers, producers and anchors for bringing us the news every day with that special New York flavor that we all love.

Good night and I’ll see you all on the blog!

Daniel

America's first blogger:

"He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. That ideas should freely spread from one to another over the globe, for the moral and mutual instruction of man, and improvement of his condition, seems to have been peculiarly and benevolently designed by nature, when she made them, like fire, expansible over all space, without lessening their density in any point, and like the air in which we breathe, move, and have our physical being, incapable of confinement or exclusive approbation."

--Thomas Jefferson to Isaac McPherson, 1813

 

             I don’t know if it’s because of springtime, all the pollen in the air or the latest Jane Fonda movie, but lately it seems that everybody is talking about love.  This has been an issue in my life for as long as I can remember and I doubt that it’s going away any time soon.  I’m not talking about brotherly love, or family love; I’m talking about mind-numbing, terrifying, friend-losing, life-changing, passionate Romeo and Juliet kind of love.  This is the kind of love that will move us across the world, separate us from our families, induce us to start a new life and rip us from the comfort of our safety zones.

            I would like to tell you that I have it all figured out and that if you read my blogs or my poetry, you will live a life of blissful romance, but I can’t.  Love is a journey and an adventure that we all must experience in our own way.  What I would like to share with you is a small piece of advice; don’t build your life around love, let love build its life around you.  What I mean is that if you look for romantic love above all else, you may just get lucky and find it, or you may find yourself sitting alone with a lump in your throat and enough tears to end the drought in California.

            Instead of seeking such love first, seek those things that create fire and passion in you.  This could be anything; music, teaching, performing, writing, science, medicine, dancing, politics, history, etc, ad infinitum.  Be true to yourself, be a friend to others and look for that special place in life where you will shine. We all experience sorrow, regret and loss, but remember that great joy can be found in the simplest of places; often right in front of us. When you explore those passions that light a special place in your soul, you may just be surprised how love will find you.  

 

April Fools 

 

 

I am still shocked after listening to the full report about MTL’s illegal inspections of the Whitestone Bridge. I cannot believe that the owner of the company has not been arrested. I am left wondering what other illegal acts he is involved with, what criteria was used to select MTL and who made the decision? He has knowingly put bridge users in danger by employing uncertified inspectors to test the structural integrity of the bridge. His company should be shut down. The bridge should be shut down and inspected by certified technicians before it is open to traffic. Think about it for a minute. Right now, despite this story going public, nothing substantial is being done to insure public safety and to punish MTL. Right now, tolls are being collected at the Whitestone Bridge. It is a shame to pay a toll to cross a potentially unsafe bridge. It is a shame that nobody with the authority to act on the behalf of public safety has done so. Why does Fox 5 news have to report on this before we hear about it from the Mayor or the Governor? I am glad to hear that one local elected official is pressuring the company, but that is not enough. MTL's owner continues to lie and continues to act like an arrogant, uncaring lout. He appears to be nothing more than a greedy coward. This situation stinks and it makes me sick. Thank you, Fox 5, for staying on top of this story. Please keep up the pressure.

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Recently, Fox 5 news has been reporting various stories about the subway system. We hear about the huge surplus, then the huge deficit and finally how we are not properly protected from terrorist attacks and how there is no adequate means of communication within the system itself. We are all asking ourselves, why? Why would the administration of New York City not make the subway a priority? It’s a great question, but nobody in our local government can provide an answer. I believe that they are living in the oldest US state; the state of denial. Hard questions need to be asked and tough choices need to be made. If the subway system fails to protect its riders, it’s done, period. People will refuse to ride the system once it becomes a random death trap. Without a viable mass transit system, New York City corporations will be faced with a lack of employees. Workers will have no acceptable method for commuting to their jobs in the city. Businesses will be forced to relocate.

This all sounds far fetched, I know, but it is all possible. Should we allow ourselves to be so vulnerable? Do we elect leaders so they can go on TV and look like heroes ala Rudy or do we elect leaders to lead? Do we expect our elected leaders to sit back and wait for another attack? Do we elect our leaders so they can show up at funerals and memorials? We pay the highest taxes in the country, the highest real estate prices and some of the highest prices for goods and services in the world. What do we get for our money? I expect more from Mayor Bloomberg and more from the MTA. I know it’s a tough job, but nobody asked them to take it on; it was their choice. Stand up, make the tough decisions and make the subway system safe at all costs. The alternative is death; death of our citizens, death of the subway, death of business and death of the city. Stay strong, stay safe, stay alive!

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Does anybody actually take MTV seriously? I was a teenager when the network launched and it was clearly an avenue for popular artists to get their music and their faces out to the public in the early eighties. Today’s MTV has morphed into a twisted, ludicrous caricature of youth-culture that seems to have no relevance with any group. Rather, I would theorize that MTV appeals to the lowest common denominator in everyone, making a mockery out of all of us in the process. I have a 19 year old daughter who is clearly within the intended demographic of MTV and she thinks the network and its shows are mostly ridiculous. Interestingly, she has noted that neither MTV or any other network accurately reflects the presence of biracial or multiracial people in our society. This is very ironic considering that the current group of Americans between the ages of 12 and 25 are arguably the largest group of multiracial youth in the history of our country.

 

 

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I would like to suggest a topic for future discussion. It is difficult to summarize, but a short name that I have developed for it is “racial universalism.” There seems to be many writers and bloggers today who postulate various theories as if racial groups are all of one thought or set of beliefs based on race. Besides the obvious irony of this being an essentially racist belief, it does a real disservice to people who are not easily pigeon-holed into a particular niche based on their skin color, ethnic background, etc. If I make a judgment about an Asian woman, for example, based exclusively or mainly on the simple fact that she appears to be Asian, I am being a racist. It makes no difference if my comment is positive or negative. It is wrong right from the start if it comes from my observation of race. If I make the same type of judgment about any other person based on their skin color or ethnicity, I am being racist, period. I don’t make such judgments because they lack intellectual honesty and they are harmful. By the same token, I would wish that people not make such judgments about me based on the same superficial observations. There is no easy answer for all of the problems we experience with racism today, but I am certain that it will take all of us working together to abolish it from our culture. If we continue to work separately, we will sadly further the effect of racism and perhaps only swing the racist pendulum from one extreme to the other with no real solution materializing. I hope for a better day. Daniel

I've been spending time in 2007 reading and responding to as many blogs as possible and it has been enjoyable and educational. I think that Fox 5 has done a great job of allowing us all a forum where we can exchange thoughts on various issues and maybe just blow off some steam. In this new year, my faith and pride in my fellow New Yorkers and those in the surrounding areas has been reaffirmed.
Listening to a lot of the news stories lately, from the homeless lawsuit to the father and son Home Depot thieves, it might be easy to start thinking that we’re all selfish and more interested in looking out for ourselves than helping somebody else. I know this is not true. The New York I know, from Coney Island in Brooklyn to Coop City in the Bronx is filled with generous, warm and caring people from all races and all walks of life.
I started to think about what I could do here online to help. One of the things that I’m really good at is technology. I figured that I could offer my assistance in the way of advice and trouble-shooting steps for anybody who is frustrated with some device. I know how bad customer service can be and I feel for those of you who are not involved with technology as much as I am.
So, if you have a question about a computer, a TV, an MP3 player, or any other kind of gadget, feel free to drop me a line here on the blog and I’ll do my best to assist you. I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can. Good luck everybody; stay safe and keep blogging!

Daniel

The topic of negative stereotypes is huge and often over-simplified by both adherents and those opposed to such obvious stupidity and ignorance. I’m going to take a different view here and I’m not going to blame television for negative stereotypes.

We all watch television, some more than others, and we all know (or should know) that well over 90% of the content is either total fiction or partial truth. If we can agree to that going in, we should not expect to turn on a comedy or drama on TV and expect to bathe in the light of love and acceptance for all humanity. Television is a for-profit enterprise and its content is mainly governed by what the majority of viewers want to see, or, at the very least, what most viewers are complacent enough about.

Stereotypes, like depression, hurt everybody. The person who proceeds from an ignorant position hurts herself more than anybody else, but also damages the lives of those she interacts with. Whenever we use stereotypical phrases or images to portray a story or an opinion, we fail to convey any truth and instead, wallow in the ignorant abyss of futility and chosen stupidity.

I would blame a lack of reading and a lack of critical thinking mixed with fear for most stereotypes. It is fallacious logic to conclude that simply because four different men from a particular race or ethnic background speak and act a certain way, all such men speak and act this way. That is a perfect example of non-critical thinking.

It is mainly through reading literature, history and poetry that we can get an actual picture of the real diversity that exists in the world. I say that it is mainly reading because none of us will likely have the time or resources to travel all over the world and interact with all the different cultures, and peoples that exist. We can all, however, take a quick trip to a library or bookstore and immerse ourselves in other places, peoples and times. My plea to everybody here is simple: Please read something every day other than a magazine or a newspaper. Read a novel about someplace that you’ve always wanted to go, some poetry by somebody that you might enjoy, or a book of history about some particular time period or series of events.

We should all be open to talking to and making new friends from all different walks of life. When we restrict ourselves to only that which is familiar, we rob ourselves of the true heritage and beauty that is humanity. Please folks, turn off the TV, stop blaming the government and Hollywood for ignorance and try a smile or offering a helping hand. It is within all of us to make the world a better place with less ignorance and racism, but we all have to do the little things each day that are more important and powerful than laws, politics and television.

As I woke up this morning and began my routine, I paused to reflect on pain. We need pain, because it often tells us things that our intellectual side will not. As a child, I loved to climb everything; trees, houses, ladders, etc. Fortunately for me, I was blessed with good balance and climbing ability. There were a few times when I fell; I broke my wrist, had numerous sprains and banged up my chin. Each time I fell, it hurt. Each time I felt pain, I remembered what I had done and resolved unconsciously to avoid the behavior that had led to my fall and subsequent pain. As a result, I became a really good climber and that served me well years later as I deployed camouflage nets over huge erector launchers in the middle of a forest.
In addition to physical pain, I suffered emotional pain and struggled to deal with that as we all must do. There were times I ignored the pain or ran from the pain, but it never went away until I dealt with it. By dealing with it, I mean facing it, thinking about how it changed me and talking about it with people that I trusted. When we ignore our pain or hide from it, it does not go away. It hovers at the edge of darkness and can and will come back to devour us if we do nothing about it. So please, if you are suffering inside, talk to somebody about it. Take a walk with a friend, read a book, laugh or cry, but don’t hide your pain inside.