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First off, Dennis Quaid is moving to Austin. Quaid told Extra at a film festival in Hawaii that he and his Austin-native realtor wife are packing up the twins and heading to town. They will build on a plot of land he bought on Lake Austin. Makes sense to me. I would hate to raise kids in LA. And, actually, when moving this last time, I took kids and education into consideration(shocking, I know, right?) and also thought Austin would be a decent place to raise a family.

On a completely unrelated note, while on the website of Extra(“extra!”), I saw the following headline:

New Dude Tickles Fickle Pickler's Fancy?

I know I can get a bit punny, but I’m not even THAT queer.

Lance Armstrong is on Letterman tonight – no word on whether he’ll mention Kate…or if she has Lance in her pants. Ewwwww. Did that Lance commercial run here or was it just an East Coast thing? Either way it was a down right creepy campaign. Apparently, they are holding a commercial contest for that campaign. You can check out the viewer videos HERE and perhaps even submit your own. You know you wanna!

TMZ reports that Paula Deen might want to cut down on the butter. A small fire -- caused by a bunch of greasy rags -- broke out Sunday night at her restaurant in Savannah. Deen's son Jamie told a local paper "I think if we get one round of fried chicken goin' in here you won't smell the smoke at all."

Do you think Jamie actually said that or is that a TMZ as lib? Either way, it's pretty funny. As is the way TMZ ended the entry...

When she heard the news, Paula rushed to the scene in her bathrobe and slippers.

I shouldn't make fun. Paula Deen really is one of the sweetest women I have ever met.

Anyone see the cover of this week’s US WEEKLY? Andrew Firestone is on it. ANDREW FIRESTONE! Who gives a crap about Andrew Firestone? No offense to Andrew. I mean, if I could get cash for a cover, I would too. But why would US Weekly pay for that story? And why would people pay money for that issue?

Thankfully, my subscription has run out and, after five plus years of service, I am cutting that BS out of my budget. I realize that celebrity news and gossip is not earth shattering stuff, but I really do enjoy it. I do not, however, enjoy reading about Speidi, Bromance, Bachelors and their babes, Audrina’s fake Hills, Kim Kardashian's killer whale of a behind, etc. etc. etc.

I’m done with it.

Done with the tabs…

Done with the TV shows…

Even done with(GASP) Fafarazzi.com.

It’s late night shows, The Soup, Best Week Ever and a few select websites from here on out.

Maybe a People Magazine from time to time.

Who knew all it took to force me into maturity were a few faux reality stars and some horrible headlines?

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