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Chip's Blog

by Chip from Phillipston, Mass

Last Post 6 days, 15 hours Ago


Harnessing the Fart
Aug 28, 2008 | 7:57 AM
Category: News
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As is my penchant, I had a "synthetic moment" today on the way to the office.  While serving my daily "anxiety penance" about how we are going to pay our heating bills this winter, I harkened back to my college days.  Ya see, kids are going back to college this weeek and I....Oh well, no use trying to follow my logic....

Anyway, I was remembering my freshman dorm back in the days of "all male colleges" and "all male dorms".  Any of you remember that?  And, after watching T. Boone Pickens advertisement on TV about the use of natural gas as a more frequent, and domestic energy source, I started thinking about methane as an alternative energy source.

Ah yes...the "boys", bored sitting around the dorm "lighting farts"....then I thought...Jeez, if we'd lit them all at once, we'd produce as much hot air as Bill Clinton and John Kerry did last evening in Denver.

I really think I'm on to something here...well at least something as credible as Barack Obama's energy plan....which seems to disipate as quickly as one of those unlit farts.....

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Member Comments Total Comments: 13
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OkieDokie read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 8:31 AM

Soooo...they disipated quickly back in the day....eh?! :D~
fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 9:15 AM

Chip, Didn't they try this idea with cows? I don't know about all boy dorms, but the stench must still be intolerable. It reminds me of my cute little fart story. While in Shaw's I let one loose (accidentally of course). I ran out of that isle quickly as I was the only one there. While on the other side I heard a little boy say "OW MOMMY WHAT'S THAT". Yes it would have lite the store for weeks.
Chip read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 9:20 AM

Careful, David...my wife will be bustin YOU too!!! (besides, you don't want to ruing that brass cup...)
fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 10:03 AM

I know they tarnish very easily....
Xantun read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 11:48 AM

Actually, Chip, there's some company that's using methane from decomposing garbage already to power part of its factory. I THINK it's S.C. Johnson, but I'm not positive. Whichever one it is, they're actually generating most of their energy that way, and use very little (if any) power from the grid.

Of course, I don't want to live anywhere NEAR a "methane plant", but that's a different blog!
Chip read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 1:00 PM

Put the methane plant on "Pedophile Island" have them work off their sentence, Xantun.

I meant this blog tongue in cheek, but it does have significance. I'm going to ask my wife to talk abut the landfill down the street from her parents house in OKC....
Xantun read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 4:25 PM

Chip, I kinda figured you meant it tongue-in-cheek, but there is real science backing this up, and it does work. And I dunno about you, but I prefer hot air from methane than from politicians...Methane hot air doesn't steal money out of my wallet when I'm not looking!
lafko06 read my blog view my photos
Aug 28, 2008 | 9:48 PM

Chip I couldn't believe the title when I scanned the posts today so I did a double check.

It's a classic title and thanks for taking the leap.

Can we talk here about the subject?

My Dad who passed in 2006 had plenty memorable flatulence episodes. He would let one rip every morning in the same spot walking to the kitchen and say " I have to fixthat loose board". He was part of the greatest generation so his sense of humor was never questioned. He once timed a long squeeker that he said lasted over a minute. He was in total control of his muscle groups.

As for the Mathane harnessing. I could only imagine how to attempt it. You would have to carry a gallon jug or a 5 gallon water bottle around with you and hope for no sparks.

Fenway a classic flatulence story.

Thanks for the chuckle to both of you.
kayleisnana read my blog view my photos
Aug 29, 2008 | 10:23 AM

Again, leave it to you, Chip and Dave--and now, you, too, lafko! Thanks for the morning chuckle. My husband gets upset with me when I laugh at stuff like this because when he does it, I'm not thinking he's so funny! He always asks why I think it's funny when someone else does it, but when he does, I get mad! Go figure!

Okie--Chip has the same sick, warped sense of humor my husband does. It must be a guy thing!

Lafko--"No sparks" and no explosion, due to the pressurized container.
guti1016 read my blog
Aug 29, 2008 | 7:40 PM

...Chip...I think the most discusting thing a human can do is expel gas...It is not allowed in my house and if you dare expel gas in my car I hope you have your walking shoes on...If you ever tell me to pull your finger I'll kill ya....A doctor told me that like everything else in the air, when you breath in someones gas it enters your blood through the lungs which then carry it to your brain and beyond. I do not want anyones "fart" anywhere near my brain let alone inside it....Keep that in mind.
lafko06 read my blog view my photos
Aug 30, 2008 | 2:35 PM

Guti:

Thanks for the big chuckle. The last line is a classic "I don't want anyones fart near my brain let alone inside it". I have to believe your reply is as toungue in cheek as Chip post is.

You could have just opened up a whole new area for defense lawyers to argue their clients innocence:

P.P.F.D or Post Physcotic Fart Disorder.

It could be for anyone who smelt someone's gas and committed a crime after the event.

The catch line ala Johnny Cochran:

"If it makes you sick you must acquitt".

One last thing if you really mean the whole thing. If by chance you do inhale someone's post Thanksgiving feast gas then just stop inhaling and exhale all the gas right out of your system. Sounds pretty simple don't it?
Chip read my blog view my photos
Sep 3, 2008 | 8:38 AM

So much aroma...so little time!!! (That's for YOU, lafko)
lafko06 read my blog view my photos
Sep 3, 2008 | 7:23 PM

Thanks Chip I'm truly honored.
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Chip

Just your average guy, married to a woman who is incredibly smart and possibly more conservative than I am. Father of three and grandfather of one soon to be two. Devoted Patriots fan and season ticket holder, snowmobile enthusiast and lifelong public servant.

Member Since: 9/26/2006


 

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