Oct.11, 2008
The flood of American Liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The possibility of a McCain/Palin election win is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they will soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers sayit is not uncommon to see dozens of Sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. " The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn"t have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh!"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the illegals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border petrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet though."
When illegals are caught, they are sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain Administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half dozen young Vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping these buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history and English majors does one country need?"
The 700 billion dollar bailout that has been stuck in our azz and broken off by our elected officials, proves what many people, myself included, have always believed.
My vote, your vote, the "will of the people" means absolutely nothing!
There is absolutely No doubt in my mind that the Nov. election has already been decided. Going to the polls and voting is the Governments way of convincing the sheep in this country that they actually have a say in what happens.
WRONG! The bailout proves it. (For those of you who still needed proof.)
When I get my ballot in the mail, I'm going to vote. By wiping my azz with it before I mail it back!
A friend sent me this the other day and I thought I would pass it along.
General Vo Nguyen Giap/General in the North Vietnamese Army
General Giap was a brilliant, highly respected leader in the North Vietnamese military. The following quote is from his memoirs currently found in the Vietnam war memorial in Hanoi:
"What we still don't understand is why you Americans stopped the bombing of Hanoi. You had us on the ropes. If you had pressed us a little harder, just for another day or two, we were ready to surrender! It was the same at the battles of TET. You defeated us! We knew it, and we thought you knew it. But we were elated to notice your media was definitely helping us. They were causing more disruption in America than we could in the battlefields. We were ready to surrender. You had won!"
General Giap has published his memoirs and confirmed what most Americans knew. The Vietnam war was not lost in Vietnam--it was lost at home. The exact same slippery slope, sponsored by the US media, is currently underway. It exposes the enormous power of a biased media to cut out the heart and will of the American public.
A truism worthy of note: "Do not fear the enemy, for they can take only your life. Fear the media far more, for they will destroy your honor."
The other day I was extremely depressed and thinking about killing myself.
I called the Suicide Hotline.
My call was answered by a call center in Pakistan.
When I told them I was considering suicide, they got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
